Boy I know whatcha think this is gonna be But set chur big butts still and you will see This ain’t no jive poem with some of yur iambic pentameter This is the real sheet so ya betta hold to ya stamina Now I says to my beetch that I’m gonna give the old man a song She comes back in a snap, "you betta make it a rap" You see this old man’s been stirring a storm for 80 years long That ain’t no norm I’m not gonna dilly dally around the bush Not 333 or 43 no it’s shock and awe straight on to bagdad Leave them guessing da strategy- this ain’t no parody Got Miles to go before we sleep no backin’ out when yur in knee deep And Miles to go to some shee shee school but it’s I who teach him to be nobody’s fool he’s well aware and wouldn’t dare to get Gramps’ ire hot on fire to see his head all turn red with da heat a risin’ I seen it in real life - I ain’t just surmisin’ it’s quite a site and not a fight you want to take on in the night yeah I’ve warned the little boy that grandpa is no toy so don’t choo be tryin’ out no shenanigans if you don’t want to see no fanatic guns oh yes guns I say seen em myself hunted down a rat sat there all day bb’s loaded and cartridge set oh yeah you can bet that rat would pay never saw no carcass or heard no squeal but rumor had it he struck no deal don’t cross the man if ya not gonna play all the way all the way to payday. Check yur hat at the door before it’s too late if it’s with this guy you gotta negotiate. That garment union knew well not to penny pinch when Merrill Conn was management. Take the deal - leave nothin’ on the table oh yeah this is becoming quite a fable. Don’t know where it’s gonna lead?, well just you heed, you aint the only one but I gonna tell it all as the only son and maybe have some fun - this fella’s not tippin’ 80 with some fluff & flattery he’s goin 80 and I ain’t afraidy to pull out the battery. hey this guy’s an afrontery to common diction los ANgeleez and SEEatle I mean the man makes his OJ full of pulp … fiction. Did you see that foot fault? Thought he’s never be caught. No wonder he bet I’d never win a set - hey I’m just waitin for the hip to go then I’ll show what I know without no regret. This has been quite a route but less I forget when I be a cub scout young and frail and whose papa the task of packmaster fell - a three ring circus complete with red tail. How would I know that this guy who I looked up to like the sky who thought that a screwdriver was a cocktail and couldn’t hammer a nail to save his tail would be telling me at 53 with airy conjure that he knows better how to do the computore. I mean have you seen him type it’s a chicken peck two fingers flying it’s a wreck and the words that form - god help us all those emails come flying out the door cyberspace is supposed to make a place for reams of I-can-tell-you-how all over the place. Young Miles don’t yet know to read but Dylan can tell him what’s in store indeed is a barrage of advice and some is not nice but I guess I shunt talk cause this rap is an rant and this toast is a roast and I must cede to our host that this little filibuster will bring no more luster no matter whatever old crap I can muster. (resume pause) And just when ya thought I had something big. -This brings me around the subject of fig. No this little fruit is no ordinary pickin’ it’s significance is tied up with lickin’ datz if you follow no you you honkies don’t know and those for which it is not so wish this is a place that I do not go. But when you think of the leaf and all that it hides it classically obscures all debate about size. Oh yes I know the French think it stands for Federation International de Geometrics but then the French think Saddam was just a weird geek. And dee italiani say Non mi importa un ficco secco that’s like saying va fan gulla but real peachy capici? They got it all wrong about this noble fruit that if you eat too much it will make you toot it’s more than you think even takin’ yur honkie brains to the brink this feel-it’s-god fondle-it-good freedom-is-guaranteed any anachronism would be a reprieve if it’s evenly spread onto some bread and obviate the dread this speil will not ebb and is it possible that Dr Seuss is not dead. Oh yes my honky friends, the end is in sight, with this present we bestow onto the man on my right - the man of the hour who has withstood the shower of a blow by blow show with full apprehension that there is many years left to grow. So we congratulate you good sir on your milestone and apologize for this here drone -you can thank yur chareesma it could have worse for your big one oh oh I promise scouts honor I will learn me some verse.